


As long as you'll be my friend at the end

by JustAnnie



Series: Milnerson [3]
Category: Football RPF
Genre: Friendship, Gen, Liverpool F.C., M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-21
Updated: 2016-09-21
Packaged: 2018-08-16 13:41:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8104540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustAnnie/pseuds/JustAnnie
Summary: “I-I’m not…as straight as I thought I was.” Okay, that’s not how he had planned to bring this up. Jordan frowns at his own words, eyes nervously searching his best friend’s face. Adam’s eyebrows shoot up, making it clear it wasn’t what he was expecting to hear either. ---Jordan tells Adam about him and James.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from Kryptonite by 3 Doors Down
> 
> A continuation of You were there, by my side and Places we can hide. 
> 
> This was supposed to be the beginning of the third pre-season based part of this series, but it got really long and it was too important a conversation for to me want to shorten it. So instead I made it longer and turned it into its own fic. The pre-season based one is still in works though!

Jordan wipes his hand across his forehead, wondering why he keeps traveling to places that are so hot and humid. And now he doesn’t even have James with him. It’s not like he’s not enjoying himself, he just…misses him. Like the pathetic sap that he is. He closes his eyes briefly as he looks out the window at the hotel pool several floors down, flashes of images running through his mind. James at the side of the pool looking down at him, the mischievous glint in his eye just before pulling him under, splashing water at each other…

Adam clears his throat from behind him, and Jordan turns around. He tries to smile, but feels how stiff and unconvincing it is. Adam gives him a questioning look, obviously wondering why he asked him to come by his room before heading down to meet the rest of their mates. 

“We need to talk. Or, I need to tell you something.” 

Adam’s expression is a mix of confusion and concern. But he shrugs as he sits down at the edge of Jordan’s bed. Jordan swallows, pulling a chair over. He keeps his eyes on his own folded hands, his leg bouncing up and down from the nerves. Another tell-tale sign of nerves that Jordan can tell Adam instantly takes note of. It’s only the second day of their holiday together, and Jordan has already had to dodge questions about his holiday with James. It’s insane how much he misses him already, despite the fact that they’ve been texting constantly during the hours they’re both awake, with James now back in England and Jordan in the humid Miami heat with Adam and a few of their mates. 

He’s avoided this conversation, knowing on some level that his friendship with Adam will have a before and after this talk, he just doesn’t know what the after will be. Jordan even looked up plane tickets home earlier, feeling a need to be prepared to leave in a hurry if things turned sour. A pang of guilt goes through him for even thinking that. This is _Ads_ , how can he even think that badly about him? Jordan looks up. Adam is just quietly watching him, waiting for him to get to his confession. Concern is starting to take over for confusion the longer Jordan takes to say anything, but he doesn’t rush him. He seems to sense that this is important, something big. They knew each other too well not to by now, and Jordan knows Adam has picked up on him being weird since they met up. 

Jordan clears his throat, finding that his entire vocabulary seems to have disappeared out of his brain when he opens his mouth to talk. He frowns, scratching his head and sighing as he tries again. 

“I-I’m not…as straight as I thought I was.” 

Okay, that’s not how he had planned to bring this up. Jordan frowns at his own words, eyes nervously searching his best friend’s face. Adam’s eyebrows shoot up, making it clear it wasn’t what he was expecting to hear either. 

“Right…okay.” Then his face turns to something between confused and amused. “Are you about to confess your undying love for me? Cause…” 

Jordan lets out a short laugh, sounding more like a heavy breath, in surprise at the fact that Adam is actually joking. 

“Don’t be so full of yourself.” 

“Right. So if it’s not me you’re going gay for…did you hook up with one of the locals while you were off with Milly or something?” 

Jordan feels his face going red, and his throat going dry. “Not one of the locals, no…” 

“Another tourist?” Adam suggests, though judging by the look on his face he’s starting to catch on. Jordan raises his eyebrows at him, shaking his head. “Oh…fuck. Milly?” 

“I did yeah…” he can’t resist making that joke, a nervous smile as he looks over at his best mate. 

Adam looks at him sharply, but then his expression changes to a smirk. “Walked right into that one…” he lets out a deep sigh. “Okay. So, you and Milly.” Adam gets up, running a hand through his hair. “I knew it. I knew something was off with you two going off together like that, out of nowhere.” He moves towards the window, looking out for a moment before he turns back towards Jordan. 

“How long has this been going on?” 

“Since Basel.” 

“Basel? The final?” 

“Yeah…after the final. That’s when it started.” Jordan frowns at his own words. “Or I guess it started long before that, but that’s when we first…you know.” 

“Yeah, I get it. I don’t need the details, mate.” Adam leans against the windowsill, both of them falling quiet for a moment. 

Jordan still feels like a bag of nerves, but it’s easing up a bit. At least Adam hasn’t yelled at him yet, or looked disgusted. Jordan near winces at his own thought, another pang of guilt going through him for thinking so little of his best friend. Adam moves away from the window and back towards him. 

“I didn’t want to lie to you, it just…we didn’t know what was going on, you know?” Jordan hates how pleading his voice sounds suddenly. 

Adam’s expression softens, and he sits back down on the edge of the bed, closer to Jordan this time. He leans forward, looking at Jordan until he has to look up and meet his eyes. 

“Stop looking so scared, mate. I take it it’s serious then?” 

Jordan nods. Suddenly it’s all too much, everything that’s been bubbling under the surface boils over, and Jordan feels the tears pressing behind his eyes. He can’t talk, knowing he won’t be able to keep it together if he as much as tries. He can’t anyway though, feeling a few tears sliding down his cheeks. He looks down, in a vain attempt to hide it from Adam. Adam doesn’t say anything, he just gets up again, grabbing a box of tissues from the desk and holding it out to Jordan. 

“Shit. I’m sorry.” Jordan avoids looking at him, feeling embarrassed enough as it is, as he takes a tissue and wipes the tears off his cheeks. He sniffles a little, biting at the inside of his cheek to stop himself from crying any more. 

“Relax, Hendo. I’m your best mate, remember? If you can’t cry in front of me, who can you? And don’t say Milly, he’s not getting that privilege. Not on his own anyway.” 

Jordan gives a small laugh at that, finally looking up at him. There’s nothing harsh on Adam’s face, and he can’t see signs of pity either. Adam smiles a little, ruffling Jordan’s hair as he moves past him. Seconds later he’s back with a bag of crisps from the table, dropping it in Jordan’s lap. They sit quietly, a couple minutes going by as Jordan opens the crisps and they hand them back and forth. 

“So you’re okay with this then?” Jordan asks after a little while, feeling calmer again. More in control. He looks up, seeing Adam shrug in reply. 

“Why wouldn’t I be? As long as I don’t have to shag Milly.” Adam smirks, and Jordan feels his cheeks heat up a little. 

“Oh, you wouldn’t say that if you knew…” 

Adam raises his eyebrows. “Oh really? So no boring Milner in that department then?” 

“He’s never boring!” Jordan says instinctively, then he smirks. “Keyword is stamina.” 

Adam laughs, shaking his head as he grabs the crisps from Jordan. “Should have known.”

Jordan looks at him, studying his face. He knows Adam. He can read him so easily, and Adam always seems to know what he’s thinking. They’ve never had a conversation quite like this before though. But there’s no sign of Adam being uncomfortable, nothing that says anything has changed. 

“You don’t seem as surprised as I thought you’d be…” 

“What, that Milly is an animal in the sack?” Adam raises his eyebrows a little, a smirk on his face. 

Jordan feels himself go red, a small smile in return as he shakes his head. 

“No, about…me and him.” 

“I don’t know…” Adam shrugs lightly, seeming to consider it for a moment. “I always suspected it about Milly. What footballer stays single all that time? I don’t ever remember him talking about girls or going on dates. I just figured he was being quiet about it, for obvious reasons. And you, well…it’s not like it’s a massive shock that you’re not straight. And I don’t mean that in a bad way or anything,” he hastens to add, and Jordan nods. “As for you and Milly, I mean…you two do spend an awful lot of time together. Even for a captain and vice-captain.” 

“You and me spend a lot of time together to…” 

“Don’t go getting any ideas, Jord.” Adam grins at him. “I mean, I’d understand you being tempted by this obviously…” he motions down himself, his shirt full of crumbs from the crisps. “But I’m taken.” 

Jordan narrows his eyes at him for a moment, before grabbing a cushion from the other chair, throwing it at Adam, who catches it with a laugh. 

“And then there’s you two always bickering, you always having to goad him to get his attention. Him always giving it to you. Always teasing each other. You always having to touch him, and him not telling you to stop even though he’d be likely to yell at anyone else for trying. It’s basically been flirting, hasn’t it? And you’re so fiercely protective of each other it’s ridiculous. The more I think about it, the more it makes sense really. You two have been pining for each other for like a year.” 

“I have not been pining!”

“Kinda have, mate. It all makes sense now.” 

Jordan doesn’t really have an argument against that, and the two of them fall silent again. It’s not an awkward silence though, more of a comfortable one as they’re both in deep thought, mulling over the conversation they’ve just had. 

“Oh god.” 

Jordan looks up in alarm, looking at Adam as his expression turns into mild horror. 

“What?” 

“That time at the euros when I came back to our room and Milly was there, and your shirt was on the wrong way round…” 

Jordan bites his lower lip, looking down as he snickers, his face going slightly pink. Adam groans, shaking his head. 

“No wonder you looked so panicked at that. I don’t even wanna know what you two got up to in our room. Or his and Harty’s for that matter.” 

“Not much, actually…not when someone could walk in any second.” 

Adam goes quiet again for a moment, an expression on his face that Jordan can’t read. 

“And by someone you mean me…” 

Jordan can’t deny that, so he just looks down, not sure what to say. 

“If you had told me, I would have made sure you guys got some privacy. I mean, you can’t have had much time alone that whole time in France?”

“No…I’m sorry.” Jordan glances up at him. 

“For what?” Adam’s voice is softer now. “Don’t be sorry. I get it. I’m just trying to tell you that, you know…I’ve got your back. If you need my help with that sort of thing.” 

“Yeah?” Jordan can’t help the small smile on his face. 

“Of course. That’s what friends do, right?” Adam smiles back at him. “Besides, I know you’d do the same thing for me if it was the other way around.” 

“What, if you were shagging Milly?” 

Adam makes a face. “No thanks. Not my type.” 

“Well good, he’s all mine.” 

Adam chuckles lightly, shaking his head. “All yours, mate.” 

Jordan looks at him smugly, before balling up the empty crisp bag, moving over to the bin to throw it away. Adam watches him for a moment, before speaking again, his expression a little more serious now. 

“What are you two gonna do about…well, everything? The club?” 

Jordan sighs, looking out the window again for a moment. “We’ll have to tell Klopp. I suppose we’ll take it from there, see how he responds.” 

“How do you think he’s gonna take it?” 

Jordan smiles wryly. “I don’t have the slightest idea. This could be the end of my career…” 

“Don’t even go there. He won’t react that badly. He’s a good man.” 

“Yeah, and a good manager. His captain and vice-captain are screwing each other. I don’t know how that’s going to affect the team when or if they find out. You know he’s gonna have to worry about that.”

Adam shrugs, conceding that point. 

“Wouldn’t surprise me if he takes the armband off me to.” 

“So you’re sacrificing the armband and potentially your whole career to shag James Milner?” There’s a teasing smirk on Adam’s face, and Jordan glares at him. 

“It’s a bit more than that,” he points out as he sits back down again. 

“When’s the wedding then?” 

“Will you shut up? I’m trying to have a serious conversation with you here.” 

Adam is still smiling as he stands up. He places a hand on Jordan’s shoulder, squeezing it lightly.

“You know I’ve got your back. And I don’t think it’s gonna be that bad with the boss either. He’s pretty fond of both of you. I’m pretty sure it’s not the first time in the history of football that this sort of thing has happened.” 

Jordan frowns. He had never really thought of that. Sure, there had been times when he had been suspicious of teammates and their relationships, and there were always jokes of course, when teammates were especially close friends. Hell, he and Adam got those jokes a lot. Sometimes he heard of teammates messing around with each other, it happened. He had done that himself, once or twice. But teammates actually falling in love like this? Being in a relationship and being in the same team at the same time? He didn’t know of anyone that had happened with. 

“It’s going to be okay, Hendo.” 

Jordan looks up, his expression softening into a smile at the look on Adam’s face. He means what he’s saying, and instantly Jordan feels a little calmer.

“Thanks, mate. I didn’t…I didn’t know how you were gonna react.” Jordan instantly feels guilty again. “I mean, I know you’d never like, disown me, but I don’t know…I’ve never been in this situation before.”

“Whatever happens, mate, you don’t have to worry about me not being there for you, alright?” Adam smiles at him, and Jordan nods. “That goes for both of you. You’re both my mates, I want you to be happy. We’ll figure this out.” 

“We?” Jordan looks at him questioningly, hopefully. 

“Yes. We.” There’s a determined look on his face, and Jordan smiles as he stands up, pulling his best friend in for a hug. 

“Thank you.” 

“No worries. But if you don’t stop cuddling me soon, I’m telling your boyfriend.” 

Jordan laughs as he lets go, and as if on cue his phone vibrates and lights up on the table next to them. The picture that shows up is the one and only selfie Jordan has convinced James to take with him, for his birthday, and Jordan smiles as he reaches for his phone. 

“He checking up on you, is he?” Adam asks teasingly. 

“He knows I was planning to tell you today. Just wants to know how it went.” 

Adam reaches into the pocket of his shorts for his own phone. “Let me tell him,” he insists. Jordan gives him a skeptical look but then shrugs. As soon as Adam has sent the text though, he holds his hand out for the phone. Adam rolls his eyes and hands it over. 

_“Hurt him and I’m coming after you. But really mate, good luck taking_  
care of this idiot. Although I guess you’ve been doing that for the past year already.  
Now you’re stuck with him outside work to. Do you even know what you’re  
getting yourself into mate? You must really like him ;)” __

__Jordan narrows his eyes as he looks at Adam again, getting his nicest fake smile in return._ _

__“What?” Adam asks innocently, but Jordan doesn’t get a chance to say anything before a reply ticks in on Adam’s phone. Jordan instantly looks at it, feeling his cheeks go red._ _

___“I won’t. Thanks. And yes I do. I love him actually.  
I can handle him ;)”_ _ _

__Adam raises an eyebrow at the look on Jordan’s face, taking his phone back to read the message. He smiles as he looks at it, shaking his head slightly._ _

__“He’s got it bad. And so do you.”_ _

__Jordan smiles, shrugging his shoulders. “I don’t know, most of the time it’s pretty good.”_ _

__Adam narrows his eyes at him. “Yeah, like I said, don’t need the details.”_ _

__Jordan laughs, reaching out to mess up Adam’s hair. Adam swats his hand away halfheartedly, then instantly starts patting his hair back down._ _

__“Right now I guess it’s bad though…” Jordan sighs, looking down at his own phone again._ _

__“Why?” Adam frowns._ _

__“Cause he’s not here…” Jordan smiles sheepishly. Adam just looks at him, a hint of a fond smile on his face._ _

__“Aww, you miss loverboy. You know you’ll see him in less than a week right?”_ _

__“Still…”_ _

__“I know, mate,” Adam smiles, a teasing tone to his voice, reaching out to squeeze Jordan’s shoulder gently. “Come on, we’re not hanging out in your hotel room all day. If you’re going to mope all day, at least do it by the pool.”_ _

__Jordan sighs. “Fine. Just give me ten minutes?”_ _

__Adam narrows his eyes at him. “Why?”_ _

__Jordan hesitates for only a short moment, the sheepish smile back on his face. “I wanna call James. Tell him what a good friend you are.”_ _

__Adam can’t resist smiling at that. “Make it great friend, and we’re good.”_ _

__“Deal.”_ _

__Adam chuckles as he moves towards the door. “I’ll meet you down there, yeah? The others are probably waiting for us already.”_ _

__Jordan nods, already looking up James on his phone, ready to hit call. “Yeah, I won’t be long.”_ _

__“Please. You said ten minutes, but I’ll give you half an hour, and then I’m coming up here and throwing you in the pool from the balcony.”_ _

__Jordan laughs, Adam giving him a wink as he opens the door and walks out. As soon as he’s gone, Jordan sinks down into the chair again, a smile on his face as he hits the call button. It already feels like a massive weight off his shoulders. Whatever else happens for him and James, he still has Adam._ _


End file.
